A New Beginning

Its been five days since I made the hardest decision of my life.. 

It had to be done. I didn't want to be living a lie anymore.

I love him but, I just wasn't happy anymore. So I ended it.

A year and five months and, those last three months is when I realized I wasn't happy.

I love him and care for him so much but, there was just something missing for me.

The hardest part about the whole thing was trying not to hurt him. 

I wanted him to understand I wasn't doing this because I didn't love him.

I was doing it because I do and he deserves someone who can be happy with him.

I know I will find someone who loved me the way he did if not even more. 

If it is still meant to be then we will be together then. If not I hope he finds someone who will love him unconditionally. 

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't  then it was never meant to be. - Unknown

Date Night

Well dont ever try and go to Olive Garden on a whim at 6:15 on a friday night because the wait will be an hour for two people lol. However we did not go there Longhorns was good..well for me anyway Joe (my fiance) got his steak and needless to say it was mooing when it came to the table. We sent it back and the second time its still not good for him they ended up giving us two free deserts and an $18 steak for free lol.The service was awesome and that chocolate molten lava cake is AMAZING haha. 

We also went to see that new movie the House on the End of the Street and, it was really good. The story line was very catchy and sometimes predictable and it would be even better if there wasn't five year old children watching it. I mean come on yall if you are a parent why would you take your little kids to see a movie like that they are going to have nightmares for weeks and when they wake up crying saying Carrie-Ann or Ryan is coming for them dont blame the movie...blame yourselves. Ha It was also entertaining to see that I was watching a comedy. Every time there was an unexpected jump out or something pop up all the teenagers would scream...and there were a lot of them...that kind of lightened things up lol. 

However despite all of the crazy waiting, raw food, free food, and screaming girls I was still able to sit back and soak in the fact that I am freaking marrying the love of my life and we had an awesome date night ha. Thanks for reading whoever you are bye for now :)

I Never Thought That I Could...

I never thought that I would find someone that I love so much while I am so young...I mean yea I have been in love before but the feeling that my boyfriend gives me when I am around him is so surreal..(I think that's the word..) I know that our relationship will last for a long long time, I mean at the beginning I made a huge mistake. If he can forgive me for that very big mistake and still love me the way he does there is no doubt in my mind that Joe is the one I will be spending the rest of my life with!

This Semester so Far Has Been...

This semester has been a lot better than my previous one...When I went to Southern Wesleyan I got so overwhelmed with living on campus and having so much freedom that I didn't do hardly any work and got so far behind in my classes there was no hope of passing any of them...even choir because I had just completely stopped going. I'm not sure why that happened it could have been depression or something else all I know is that I am very proud of how I did this semester even if I don't do so great in all of my classes I know that I didn't stop going!

I absolutely hate..

I really don't like it when I try to be nice and polite but, the person on the other end be so rude they make you shake because you are so mad.
I hate it when you walk by someone and they judge you or someone else without knowing the story behind their life or situation.
I hate it when people make fun of individuals who has any mental illness. They just look like total jerks when they do it.

If I had super powers I would want to be able to...

I would love to have the power to fly but, not flying in an airplane. I want to straight up fly like superman because, its faster than a car. Also flying doesn't break down. To be able to fly would be such a freeing feeling. I would be able to think about anything and, get away from anyone just like that. If i could fly I would never come down.

I'm Writing This Blog But I Should Be....

I'm writing this blog but I should be sleeping. I just worked a nine hour shift at Mcdonalds and at 2am I am still up for some odd reason. I must be crazy or delusional or something...Hopefully I don't have to worry about closing for much longer and I will only be working there weekends so I can work at Picture Me :). I would love to work there so I can get experience in taking pictures for people. Until then I work long hours at Mcdonalds trying to pay bills. All I know is I have to keep pushing on and not let my wants get in the way of what I need to do.

 I'm writing this blog but I should be SLEEPING!